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THEY DID IT AGAIN
IS MOM EVER COMING HOME?
Reasons why I like Homecoming better than any other Spider-Man (live action) flick in existence
• Michelle
• Penis Parker looks, sounds and acts like an actual 15 year old high schooler.
• avoided origin story that everyone and their mother’s cat already know
• Ned Leeds is precious
• Batman is evil
• avoided uncle Ben (and his stupid mantra)
• started the movie in the super cool upgraded aesthetically pleasing suit
• Michelle
• Peter does not make creepy stalker pictures of his crush (that are made without her consent)
• instead just dreamily stares at her from afar like a loser like the rest of us
• no goddamn Harry Osbourne angst
• animated spider eyes
• Liz is gorgeous
• Peter’s adorable “Mr. Stark” whenever he says it
• K.A.R.E.N
• Flash is upgraded, honestly funny and weirdly endearing version of himself and is still a bully
• Peter Parker’s hair
• Aaron Davis The Walking Easter Egg
• Michelle
• Peter visibly needing help in being a superhero via Tony and Guy in the Chair Leeds
• also, dad!Tony
• The Villain Is Actually Father Of My Friend plot twist trope DONE RIGHT!!!
• Michelle
• no unnecessary amount of Plus One villains besides The Vulture and his (funny, curious) goons
• Stark company fucked everyone over (again)
• ended the movie in the cheap super lame aesthetically ugly onesie costume instead
• Peter’s won the day with character development depending on his own;
- no romantic interest (in distress) that prompted his strength
- no moody friend to guilt trip him into saving himself
- no edgy angst due to Uncle Ben’s mantra
• Michelle, the beautiful book-reading, has no friends, intellectually observant genius “my friends call me MJ” is the downplayed but so fresh and clearly-a-slowburn, full of potential MJ that I didn’t know I needed in my life, but just as Peter Parker will realize one day, what a blessing she is.
• Michelle
• Penis Parker looks, sounds and acts like an actual 15 year old high schooler.
• avoided origin story that everyone and their mother’s cat already know
• Ned Leeds is precious
• Batman is evil
• avoided uncle Ben (and his stupid mantra)
• started the movie in the super cool upgraded aesthetically pleasing suit
• Michelle
• Peter does not make creepy stalker pictures of his crush (that are made without her consent)
• instead just dreamily stares at her from afar like a loser like the rest of us
• no goddamn Harry Osbourne angst
• animated spider eyes
• Liz is gorgeous
• Peter’s adorable “Mr. Stark” whenever he says it
• K.A.R.E.N
• Flash is upgraded, honestly funny and weirdly endearing version of himself and is still a bully
• Peter Parker’s hair
• Aaron Davis The Walking Easter Egg
• Michelle
• Peter visibly needing help in being a superhero via Tony and Guy in the Chair Leeds
• also, dad!Tony
• The Villain Is Actually Father Of My Friend plot twist trope DONE RIGHT!!!
• Michelle
• no unnecessary amount of Plus One villains besides The Vulture and his (funny, curious) goons
• Stark company fucked everyone over (again)
• ended the movie in the cheap super lame aesthetically ugly onesie costume instead
• Peter’s won the day with character development depending on his own;
- no romantic interest (in distress) that prompted his strength
- no moody friend to guilt trip him into saving himself
- no edgy angst due to Uncle Ben’s mantra
• Michelle, the beautiful book-reading, has no friends, intellectually observant genius “my friends call me MJ” is the downplayed but so fresh and clearly-a-slowburn, full of potential MJ that I didn’t know I needed in my life, but just as Peter Parker will realize one day, what a blessing she is.
Lorde for Fashion Magazine
